Part 3: Clarifying intentions

Creating a Safe Space for Feedback

We must also discern not only our own motives but also seek to understand the recipient's desires for self-awareness and insights about themselves and others. Intention infuses our feedback with nuance and authenticity. At times, we might offer feedback without thoroughly examining our underlying intentions. This is where the importance of acknowledging our emotions comes into play.

Emotions like anger, for instance, often stem from a belief that someone is at fault and should be penalized. Such intentions do not foster an atmosphere of safety and receptivity, a dynamic that can remain unnoticed unless we consciously scrutinize our emotions.

A dual perspective shapes the intentions behind feedback. Firstly, we consider what we hope for ourselves from the conversation. Sometimes feedback is driven by personal needs, which is entirely valid. Recognizing and approaching feedback from this angle ensures transparency and clarity in our communication. Secondly, our intentions for the recipient come into focus.

Leaders are encouraged to articulate these intentions openly. Whether it's about aligning with shared values, aiding in a colleague's professional growth, or promoting a sense of value within the team, communicating these intentions helps eliminate any ambiguity. By providing explicit context, we dispel assumptions about motives, fostering a culture where positive intentions are assumed, yet our responsibility as feedback providers is to ensure clarity about our perspective and use feedback as a valuable tool (Liu and Gumah, 2020).

The foundation of a solid relationship is pivotal in lending credibility to the intentions we communicate. Without an established rapport, stated intentions might not hold weight, making relationship-building essential for ensuring the authenticity of our feedback motives. Turning to the notion of intentions, a paradox comes into focus—known as the coaching mindset. This paradox explores the equilibrium between warmth and empathy, and the readiness to enforce or hold others accountable.

Next, Suzanne Miklos PhD discusses Intent and its Impact on giving effective feedback.

Source:

Liu, W. and Gumah, B. (2020). Leadership style and self-efficacy: The influences of feedback. Journal of Psychology in Africa, 30(4), pp. 289-294.

Often, leaders emphasize empathy and warmth, intending to foster support and care. However, the aspect of enforcing or providing constructive feedback can lag behind. In some cases, leaders find themselves in the 'permissive' category, where they prioritize being accommodating and avoiding potential conflict or hurt feelings. While this approach may stem from the intention of helping and preserving harmony, it can inadvertently hinder accountability and development.

Shifting from a permissive stance to providing constructive feedback might be perceived as a drastic shift, potentially coming across as harsh due to its unfamiliarity and the emotional transition from support to frustration. Striking a balance between warmth, empathy, and the readiness to enforce accountability is essential to ensure that our intentions are effectively translated into actions that drive growth and maintain a supportive environment.

In the next part of our series, we'll discuss the third step, Beliefs.