Part 5: Seeking permission
Creating a Safe Space for Feedback
The concept of seeking permission before delivering feedback emerges as a crucial aspect in nurturing openness and receptivity. Drawing from a personal experience involving sending unsolicited feedback to a loved one, the value of seeking permission becomes evident.
This practice ensures that feedback is welcomed and received with the desired attitude. One must recognize that personal beliefs significantly shape how feedback is interpreted, with the potential to either limit or enhance possibilities.
When applied to a team context, beliefs can influence the team's energy, determination, and response to feedback. A team that believes in its potential approaches feedback more enthusiastically and receives it with encouragement, fostering growth and improvement
To illustrate some of these key concepts here's a story from Feedback Expert, Mike Sliter PhD
Team building involves an intricate dance between understanding each other's values, drivers, and self-perception. Relationships play a profound role in shaping a team's collective beliefs, highlighting the emotional aspect alongside the intellectual.
This intricate relationship between beliefs and emotions underscores the potency of influencing team dynamics. Permission, a key element, contributes to creating a safe space for feedback. In role-playing exercises, where individuals simulate coaching interactions, seeking permission to share feedback has shown to be remarkably effective.
This simple act diffuses resistance and fosters a different dynamic, underscoring the importance of setting a method and safe times for feedback delivery. Ultimately, establishing these mechanisms not only ensures smoother feedback conversations but also cultivates a sense of security and trust within the team.
Some of the valid questions that can be asked to seek permission before offering feedback include:
Are you interested in my observations?
Can I share with you something that I noticed?
Are you open to feedback at that moment?
Can we chat about things we're both working on improving right now so we can share thoughts with each other about what we're noticing?
Can we discuss some ideas for improvement?
How do you feel that went?
By employing these questions, the power dynamic becomes more balanced and the recipient is put at ease. This approach shifts feedback from a one-sided directive into a genuine and collaborative conversation.
In the final part of our series, we'll discuss the fourth step, Providing grounded, actionable feedback.
